Friday, August 08, 2008

I want to be me!

Suddenly I stopped my car. I have been driving for more than four hours continuously, not caring where I landed up. I just wanted to be away, away form all that my life comprised of. I wanted to be someone else, though I hated just about anyone else who I could think of.
Except...for you. But that is not what I wanted to write about.
Wouldn't it be great if you had also chosen this day to leave all behind and drive down this way. If you had also chosen this very route and we could have met. Wouldn't you have just loved to see me this way, when I was just me and nothing else. Yes, it is true. I have left behind everything that defined me. I am nothing but these hands on the steering wheel. Not a worry crosses my mind, not a desire crosses my heart. Yet, I look for you. Are you a person out there, or just a desire in my mind. Can I hold you, keep you or can I let you go? Either way, is there a difference?
Had we met today, we could have laughed together. And we could have held hands and gazed up at the sky. Tell me, don't you wish for a piece of the most beautiful day in your life?
But there is no 'other'. It is all just me. Did you know that? And there isn't a thing I care for. Except you. Does that mean you and me are actually one? I am too confused to figure it out now.
What is freedom? The desire to be free of desires? Does that make you free?
Do I even want to be free? That too of you?